Turbocharger Trepidation: Let’s start with the turbocharger, which can exhibit about as much enthusiasm as a teenager asked to clean their room. When the turbo goes awry in the Relay, it’s not just a simple hiccup—it’s a full-blown theatrical production complete with loss of power, distressing noises, and an exhaust smoke show that could rival a Cheech & Chong movie.
Gearbox Grief: The gearbox, too, has a flair for the dramatic. Some Relay drivers have experienced the joy of a gearbox that’s more reluctant to change gears than I am to admit that maybe, just maybe, electric cars aren’t all bad. The shifting can be notchy, the transitions jarring, and overall, as smooth as a country lane after a landslide.
Suspension Sorrows: The suspension system on the Relay, designed to cushion the blows of the less-than-perfect roadways of rural France, can start to feel like you’re bouncing around inside a tin can. Shock absorbers and struts don’t always take their job seriously, leading to a ride quality that can only be described as ‘agricultural.’
Electrical Enigmas: It wouldn’t be a true French vehicle without some quirky electrical issues, would it? The Relay’s electrical system might decide to play up at the least opportune moments—central locking systems that lock out the owner, windows that think ‘down’ is just a suggestion, and dashboard lights that perform a flickering dance of uncertainty.
Rust Roulette: And, naturellement, we must discuss the rust. The Relay can start rusting with the determination of a sommelier opening a vintage Bordeaux. Key areas of concern include the door frames and undercarriage, which can deteriorate faster than the French surrender their wine at a customs check.
Despite these peccadilloes, the Citroen Relay remains a beloved choice among those who value space, practicality, and a certain je ne sais quoi in their commercial vehicle. It’s spacious, the engines are generally reliable, and it’s got a payload capacity that makes it a favorite among those who need to haul considerable weight—be it for work or for moving in-laws to a new house.
Owning a Citroen Relay is akin to maintaining a relationship with a temperamental chef: it requires patience, a good sense of humor, and the acceptance that occasionally, things will go spectacularly wrong. But with regular maintenance, particularly to the turbocharger and gearbox, and a vigilant eye on the onset of rust, this van can be a dependable partner in your logistical endeavors.
In conclusion, if you’re considering a Citroen Relay, remember that like any good French story, it’s a mixture of romance, drama, and occasional bouts of frustration. But with the right care and attention, it can provide years of faithful service. Just keep your mechanic on speed dial and maybe learn a bit of French—it could help when you need to sweet-talk your Relay into behaving itself.